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Just Deal With It @ 10.1.10
tomorrow is results day! okay considering this is like 2.30 in the moring, i'll be receiving my results in exactly 12 hours. results will be released at 2 pm. Homygod. Now, sitting in the dead silence, i can't help thinking what i would do if my results sucked. i wouldn't stand for above 10. i studied for olevel with 7 A's in mind. i sat for olevel with 7 A's in mind and now, more than ever, i want it to be reality. i'm not the get-it-or-die type of student but no doubt, i would be a lil dissapointed if i didnt get 7. but if i get above 12, i'm pretty sure i would be devastated. ofcourse all of these would be my innitial reaction. at the end of the day, i know i gave it my all. i've never been so focused in my life. i've never wanted something as bad as i wanted this. maybe in years to come, i will face much bigger challenges and i will work harder but for now, at this stage of my life, i've never given anything as much devotion and commitment as i'd given to my studies. hence, whatever the result may be, i'd be grateful and move on to other things in life.
my worst fear if all turns bad is that i will lose my determination. to have worked so hard and then to find out that all of that wasn't enough might just be enough to make me give up. i think my self-perseverance and determination is what that has helped through most of my endervours. from teachers who ignore you just because you're weaker to teachers who keep telling you you're not good enough to take up that subject. i wanted to show them that they're wrong and i hope that tomorrow will be proof that i had. i may not be the most intelligent but that's okay because i've only myself to impress.
i'm not afraid though of not meeting my parents expectation. i'm just afraid of not meeting mine. dad has never really showed any concern towards me or my brother's academics. my mum does have some standard but i'd bet my on my next allowance that i'm even more strict with myself than she is.
okay. i've written most of the things that are on my mind right now. so let me tell you about this idiotic bugger that i unfortunately happened to run into last saturday. me and saf were at East Coast Park. we planned to go cycling that afternoon and we did. actually what we did mostly was talk. we cycled a bit and then stopped in front of a vending machine. we tricked the machine into getting 2 bottles for the price of one. thanks to Herman for revealing this ingenious trick the other day i overnighted there with my pri sch friends. it's crazy cos i've known them a good six years in pri sch and then now we're like graduating. GRADUATING yo!
kay back to the story. so, drinking near the vend machine, under the shade of palm trees, we took gulps of chilled coke and start atalking. it was so leisurely and peaceful and somehow, i've found a way to perch myself on the bike seat. that's one sturdy bike! so then saf realised we should get moving and so we started to make our way back. we tried out an alternative road that went into the woods and there was an opening leading back to our normal path. as i went down the slope, with wind breezing through my hair, i noticed these 2 chinese guys. the lane was narrow and there were specific sides of the road for bikes going in each direction to stick to. But no...this 2 arseholes wanted to use the whole effing lane. i managed to shout 'Woi' to them but they were too involved in their conversation to notice. so, i braced myself. my handle bar slammed into theirs. since my mind was preoccupied with solely thoughts of self-presevation, saf was the one that told me what hapenned next. my bike crashed to the ground and i skidded in a classic Superman style, armes outstreched to cushion my fall. i rolled over to my back, my head pounding. i noticed that a crowd of bikers had gathered as the incident had obstucted the path. i stared at the idiot and he stared back at me. i dont know if it was a shout or if i was just mouthing the words but i said in disbelief " what? you don't know how to help me up or what?" i'm starting to think that i'm dealing with a mental handicap cause he just stayed there. no reaction.
saf was staring, open-mouthed at him and then she rushed to help me up. by now, the path was totally blocked and the stream of bikers had come to a stanstill. his friend in green that had just arrived and comprehended the situation approached me and offred an apology that was undeniably sincere, on behalf of that jerk.
they cycled off, leaving me injured and unsatisfied. that irritating jerk seriously didn't acknowledge his mistake. F-him. blood was rushing to my head as saf dabbed at my gashes. i had to lie down. i remembered talikng to saf
me: eh, ade orang stare kat aku tak?
saf: *chuckles* tak. seriously, takde orang kesah
me: serious? *peek out from my cap* wah serious sia nobody care. i'm like lying here... bodo nyer laki. aku sumpah die jatoh macam aku jugak. tak happy sia aku. *lie back down*
the next time i sat up, i began to realise the extent of my injury. the st\kin on my elbow was torn and the skin on my elbow was so badly grazed, it was showing my flesh. at the time, the pain wasn't so bad. it wasn't so bad until this indian guy, whom with good intentions, swiped at my knee cap with an alcohol swab. anybody who haven't had that experience will have no clue of what the searing pain feels like. even if you have, you'd probably have forgotten the real extent of the excrutiating pain. i was groaning in agony by the side walk and shamefully, i unintentionally cried. it wasnt like those kind where bawled your eyes out but it was just that i was trying to endure the pain. after the alcohol swab, the pain had reached another level whereby i'm no longer aware of it. it bothers me but it was just like a constant throbbing that i can try to ignore. trying to act tough and not wanting to impose on saf, i told her that i wanted to see if i can still ride the bike. at first she didnt like the idea but since we both knew that there was still some distance to the bike shop, she finally agreed.
my bike was mangled. the seat had twisted in another direction and the chains of the gears were off. some parts were broken. now i really felt like hunting down that jerk and ramming him with my bike; front left and center. serious as shit sia, me and saf no more money to pay for the damages. we spent a good few minutes by the roadside attempting to fix the bike. we were, ehem proudly, successful. so i rode, wincing a little cause the skin at torn knee cap had to stretch with every turn of the peddle but we made it. i put on saf's jacket to cover my injuries so that the bike stall owner would not notice them and start to check the returned bike thoroughly. i even attempted disguise my limp in a feat to look normal. after leaving the bike, i made my escape and thank god, we didnt have to fork out a cent.
i'll never forget today. yea saf? *hmm, i'm nt so sure of that since saf has a faulty memory* thanks for helping your injured friend. i owe you
muah.
my worst fear if all turns bad is that i will lose my determination. to have worked so hard and then to find out that all of that wasn't enough might just be enough to make me give up. i think my self-perseverance and determination is what that has helped through most of my endervours. from teachers who ignore you just because you're weaker to teachers who keep telling you you're not good enough to take up that subject. i wanted to show them that they're wrong and i hope that tomorrow will be proof that i had. i may not be the most intelligent but that's okay because i've only myself to impress.
i'm not afraid though of not meeting my parents expectation. i'm just afraid of not meeting mine. dad has never really showed any concern towards me or my brother's academics. my mum does have some standard but i'd bet my on my next allowance that i'm even more strict with myself than she is.
okay. i've written most of the things that are on my mind right now. so let me tell you about this idiotic bugger that i unfortunately happened to run into last saturday. me and saf were at East Coast Park. we planned to go cycling that afternoon and we did. actually what we did mostly was talk. we cycled a bit and then stopped in front of a vending machine. we tricked the machine into getting 2 bottles for the price of one. thanks to Herman for revealing this ingenious trick the other day i overnighted there with my pri sch friends. it's crazy cos i've known them a good six years in pri sch and then now we're like graduating. GRADUATING yo!
kay back to the story. so, drinking near the vend machine, under the shade of palm trees, we took gulps of chilled coke and start atalking. it was so leisurely and peaceful and somehow, i've found a way to perch myself on the bike seat. that's one sturdy bike! so then saf realised we should get moving and so we started to make our way back. we tried out an alternative road that went into the woods and there was an opening leading back to our normal path. as i went down the slope, with wind breezing through my hair, i noticed these 2 chinese guys. the lane was narrow and there were specific sides of the road for bikes going in each direction to stick to. But no...this 2 arseholes wanted to use the whole effing lane. i managed to shout 'Woi' to them but they were too involved in their conversation to notice. so, i braced myself. my handle bar slammed into theirs. since my mind was preoccupied with solely thoughts of self-presevation, saf was the one that told me what hapenned next. my bike crashed to the ground and i skidded in a classic Superman style, armes outstreched to cushion my fall. i rolled over to my back, my head pounding. i noticed that a crowd of bikers had gathered as the incident had obstucted the path. i stared at the idiot and he stared back at me. i dont know if it was a shout or if i was just mouthing the words but i said in disbelief " what? you don't know how to help me up or what?" i'm starting to think that i'm dealing with a mental handicap cause he just stayed there. no reaction.
saf was staring, open-mouthed at him and then she rushed to help me up. by now, the path was totally blocked and the stream of bikers had come to a stanstill. his friend in green that had just arrived and comprehended the situation approached me and offred an apology that was undeniably sincere, on behalf of that jerk.
they cycled off, leaving me injured and unsatisfied. that irritating jerk seriously didn't acknowledge his mistake. F-him. blood was rushing to my head as saf dabbed at my gashes. i had to lie down. i remembered talikng to saf
me: eh, ade orang stare kat aku tak?
saf: *chuckles* tak. seriously, takde orang kesah
me: serious? *peek out from my cap* wah serious sia nobody care. i'm like lying here... bodo nyer laki. aku sumpah die jatoh macam aku jugak. tak happy sia aku. *lie back down*
the next time i sat up, i began to realise the extent of my injury. the st\kin on my elbow was torn and the skin on my elbow was so badly grazed, it was showing my flesh. at the time, the pain wasn't so bad. it wasn't so bad until this indian guy, whom with good intentions, swiped at my knee cap with an alcohol swab. anybody who haven't had that experience will have no clue of what the searing pain feels like. even if you have, you'd probably have forgotten the real extent of the excrutiating pain. i was groaning in agony by the side walk and shamefully, i unintentionally cried. it wasnt like those kind where bawled your eyes out but it was just that i was trying to endure the pain. after the alcohol swab, the pain had reached another level whereby i'm no longer aware of it. it bothers me but it was just like a constant throbbing that i can try to ignore. trying to act tough and not wanting to impose on saf, i told her that i wanted to see if i can still ride the bike. at first she didnt like the idea but since we both knew that there was still some distance to the bike shop, she finally agreed.
my bike was mangled. the seat had twisted in another direction and the chains of the gears were off. some parts were broken. now i really felt like hunting down that jerk and ramming him with my bike; front left and center. serious as shit sia, me and saf no more money to pay for the damages. we spent a good few minutes by the roadside attempting to fix the bike. we were, ehem proudly, successful. so i rode, wincing a little cause the skin at torn knee cap had to stretch with every turn of the peddle but we made it. i put on saf's jacket to cover my injuries so that the bike stall owner would not notice them and start to check the returned bike thoroughly. i even attempted disguise my limp in a feat to look normal. after leaving the bike, i made my escape and thank god, we didnt have to fork out a cent.
i'll never forget today. yea saf? *hmm, i'm nt so sure of that since saf has a faulty memory* thanks for helping your injured friend. i owe you
muah.
I’d forever chose cute over handsome.
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