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Running Lines

I'm not here to impress. I write to clear my mind and as such, my train of thoughts might be either brilliant or junk.
@ 8.1.10

i want a boyfriend. i always feel too lonely these days. it must be nice to have someone to call at the end of the day and it must be wonderful to go an dates and wear pretty dresses. it must be nice to still be on the phone, half-awake, at 3 in the morning, listening to his voice. it must be nice to hold his hand. it must be nice...

it's not nice though, to have to pretend that you want to talk on the phone longer when in fact, your ears are falling asleep. it's not nice to have someone check who you've been messaging with. it's not nice when he insists on holding your hand in public, thinking it's romantic when in truth, you're just flushing with embarrassment and in fear of running into your relatives and later to have them give you meaningful smiles.


i really do like him. i really really do. i've always told my best friend that he was wonderful. the memories i have of him are all wonderful. years had passed and now that we've talked, i'm convinced that if the opportunity presents itself, i wouldn't mind us holding hands. i wouldn't have minded it at all.


you're not good-looking. you're not buff.
But neither am i beautiful or alluring.
i don't know why i fell for you
and i haven't the slightest idea of what you see in me.
maybe it's got something to do with the sincerity that shines in earnest when you smile
or maybe it's how you are so unguarded around me
you're original and i'm jealous of how i can never be fully confident in my own skin as you can in yours
i want to stay away but i always find myself revolving around you
i want to be near you but i won't admit it
i don't want to
but i'll admit this
i'm a terrible coward
i'm coward when it comes to facing the reality that i might be falling in love with you.
-again-


I chose Coke over Pepsi.


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