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@ 21.1.10
Who am I to say that he’s weird? And who am I to say that he’s not normal, like the rest of us normal people? I am no one to be stating what’s weird and what’s not. It’s all subjective. I’m weird too cause I wear socks during dance practices and I have flaws like how I suck balls at Physics. I have zero flair for it. Zilch, but we all don’t wear our flaws on our sleeves do we? I’m sorry that I want to be out of his life even though I made him promise to stay in mine. I feel like a terrible liar but I can’t help the way I feel. It’s hard having to keep up a façade and I’m giving it up. If he can hear my innermost thoughts of him, he’d hate my guts. That, I’m sure of. I abhor the fact that he’s so suffocatingly clingy and I feel terrible that I cringe away from his very being. I truly truly feel horrible and miserable and I feel disgusted by this feeling that I have. I musn’t be judgmental; if I don’t want to be judged, why should I do it to him? But yet, here I am judging him. I don’t know what to do but what I know for sure is I don’t want to see him. Or talk to him. Does it make things better that I don’t tell him this? I bet my body language gives me away. I’ve tried my best and I’m sorry it’s come to this. I’m only human so please, don’t hold it against me if I don’t want to have anything to do with you. It’s hard enough as it is; this struggle to be either brutally honest or pretentiously nice.
I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I mustn’t judge him. I musn't judge him. I musn't judge him. I musn't judge him. I musn't judge him. I musn't judge him. I musn't judge him.
I just can't help it.
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